I'm Not Dumb. I Just Have a Command of Thoroughly Useless Information

Alright this is my last excuse/apology entry. I swear it to you!!!! I can’t even begin to explain how much of a typical forgetful blogger I have become, and I hate it. So I have now made a promise to myself and to the two of you that read this blog that I will no longer put this on the back burner. I need a creative outlet and it’s about time I picked a good source.

Ok enough of my bull back to the good stuff. I am going to take it back a little since it has been so long since my last post, so please be patient and forgiving with me. 

Ever find yourself trapped in a drain pipe? Yeah….it is not the best experience in the world. This thanksgiving, as is customary, I was playing football with my family while celebrating Turkeyday in Georgia at my cousin’s house. I threw a pass a bit too far out in front of my brother and it fell harmlessly incomplete a few feet away from him, or so I thought. From where I was I couldn’t see the drain that it was bouncing towards but I heard a chorus of “grab its” and “oh nos” as I ran to see what everyone was yelling about. 

After a careful investigation I discovered that the perfect pass that I threw that my cousin couldn’t handle and rolled down a hill and into a storm drain. Now since the ball had a mind of its own, it couldn’t stop close to either of the ends, no it stopped directly in the middle of the stupid drain. Luckily this drain wasn’t extremely long, probably about 30 feet long and looked large enough for someone to fit in. The drain was less than inviting though, filled with water and grass a quite dark. Needless to say no one was very eager to volunteer. I felt slightly responsible for this unfortunate incident, seeing as I threw a beautiful pass to my cousin who was only four feet tall and my pass was meant for a six foot receiver, but I don’t want you to get lost in the details. So I entered the abyss. I got about 5 or 6 feet in, and my shoulders got stuck. I couldn’t move at all, I tried my very hardest and couldn’t move an inch. So after about a minute of not moving my family finally noticed that I was stuck and grabbed me by my ankles and proceeded to have a tug-of-war with this drain pipe. After an epic struggle I was finally freed from my cylindrical tomb. Eventually we retrieved the ball but not without much effort.

So I found this new website recently that has on multiple occasions brought me to tears laughing so hard. I figured I should share it with you so you can enjoy it, if you haven’t already. It’s called damnyouautocorrect.com and it is easily one of the most funny sites I have ever had the privilege of wasting my time on. 

Well that is it for this week, I will return soon with more updates on my life and more nuggets of comedic genius.